Mistakes

I am getting to the point in my training where I am handling calls and given more responsibility. Most of the time, I am allowed to drive. I love driving the police car and I hate it. Let me explain.

When I am sitting in the passenger seat, I can concentrate on one or two things at a time. I hear the radio, I can write down the calls as they come in and I can be on the lookout for anything else.

However, when I am driving, I have to drive safely, write down the calls as they come in, know where are my area partners are, be aware of my surroundings, look up the location of the calls in the mapbook and possibly answer my phone when my area partners call me with information on a call I may be heading to. That is quite a bit of multi-tasking. It is too bad I can't use my GPS while training. That would help.

It is super fun to drive a police car around, but it is also stressful and tiring. It is slowly getting easier, but I am still not 100% comfortable with it.

So with all the added responsibilities, I sometimes miss the little things. The other night I forgot to write in the number of phone calls my prisoner made at the jail phones. Really, not a big deal, but my training officer was behind me when it was kicked back at the jail and he rolled his eyes and said, "Come on!" It was embarassing, but I won't make that mistake again. LOL

On a positive note, when the shit hits the fan, I do well. I had a drunk lady the other night that went to take a bite out of a fireman. I was in the correct position and I took her to the ground before she knew what hit her.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a drunk male take a swing at me. Just by the way he was looking at me, I knew it was coming. I ducked and took him promptly to the dirt. I have never had anyone take a swing at me in my adult life. So I was suprised and relieved that it went so well. Go training!

I have started making checklists for the things I need to do for each type of call. Hopefully this way I won't forget the minor details along the way. There are so many pieces of paperwork that are different depending on what kind of call you get. I am suprised that my partner can remember them all. I suppose after you have done each kind of call a few times, it is not a big deal. I have done a few warrants and they are pretty easy now.

I am still at the point where certain calls I go to are a first for me. I had my first dead body call last month. I had my first mayhem call last weekend. So I had to look up the elements for mayhem to make sure the crime fit the event. It did. Ewwwww.

I love this job and I will get better. I am just at that point where I am teetering on sort of knowing what to do. I will keep telling myself that it will get easier. Anyone who said this job is easy, is full of shit. =)

Sickness

This is a just a quick post to inform those of you just getting into this line of work. I have been sick THREE times in the six months I have been doing this and I have found that I am not the only one that has experienced this.

As a cop you spend your time in a dirty police car, the hospital and the county jail. I guess I should not be suprised. Those are some pretty disgusting places.

I have heard that the first year is the worst and then you are semi-immune.

Jumping into the deep end

In the beginning of my training, I took a very passive role. I was told to observe and only to jump in if the shit hit the fan. I was comfortable with that. It is not a difficult position to be in. I had very little responsibility.

As my training has progressed, I would get to calls with my training officer and most of the time he or she tells me to handle it and then does not say a word unless I really messed something up.

I am in my mid-thirties, so I have some life experience. That being said, I haven't gotten in too many tense situations in my normal every day life. I don't hang out with the kind of people that get into trouble and I tend to avoid people I know to be unstable. I am sure the same could be said for most people.

Now, imagine you are thrown into one of these unfamiliar situations at least once a week with people you don't understand. Additionally, you are expected to handle it in a professional, calm manner as a police officer. People will be looking to you to fix things and protect them. I am finally starting to get the hang of it.

First off, I act like I know what I am doing, even if I don't. People can quickly sense indecision or weakness and will turn on you. You really do not have much time to weigh the pros and cons of your actions. You just have to jump in feet first and do your best.

I have gotten pretty good at ratcheting my intensity level up to 11 at a moments notice. When you deal with people who have hyper adrenaline levels and are pissed off, the only way to get their attention is to scare the shit out of them before they do something you have to take them to jail for. SIT THE HELL DOWN AND SHUT UP OR YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!

Luckily, I do not have to do that very often and that is not appropriate for all types of people. You have to use your common sense. Most of the time it is just me being a mediator. 90% of the calls I go to, there is no crime. I just let people vent, tell them I understand and smooth things out. I may not understand and I may think they are complete morons, but I am there to keep the peace, not speak my mind.

Even when I am not the "handler" of the call, I jump in and contribute where I can and when I see something negative about to happen. It is a turning point in my training where I actually start feeling like I am a police officer and not just a ride a long.

Jumping in is very important. I see quite a few of the new guys just standing back and not doing anything. I have found the best way to know what to do is to ask. When you arrive on the scene say to the handling officer, "What can I do to help?" Simple, to the point. They will tell you what they want you to do and there attitudes towards you will change for the better. They won't let you drown...much. =)

Never Assume Anything!

I learned a valuable lesson the other night. Never assume anything with this job. That was the theme of my midnight shift.

The first call of the night came out as a domestic at the park. I arrived at the scene and another cop from another city was waiting to greet me with the victim. The incident happened just out of his jurisdiction and was now my responsiblity. He was trying to clue me in that the story was suspect, but being the rookie I am I did not quite catch on. I realized what he was trying to tell me later. I do not look like a rookie, since I am older, so sometimes officers assume I am the training officer and it is the other way around.

So I spoke to the victim and she told me that she was walking in the park when her ex-boyfriend, who she lived with for 6 months prior, attacked her in the park. I saw some bruises on her arms and I got excited. A righteous felony battery! I kind of honed in on this detail and did not think as much on the fact that she was obviously a meth head, probably a prostitute and her story had some holes. She said he was ranting about how he was "ex-military" and "killed people for a living" and then threw her on the grass. In retrospect, she was not wet and did not have any grass stains on her shirt.

I took down all her information, her story and anything else I could think of on my notepad and then went to contact the ex-boyfriend. I was ready to take him to jail as the night had been slow up to this point, so that made me happy.

As I walked up to the ex-boyfriends house I noticed that he was upstairs relaxing and watching porn with his current girlfriend. Not something I would expect someone who had just assaulted his ex-girlfriend in the park to be doing. Clue #1. I contacted him and he was very calm and genuinely suprised to see the police at his door. He was not sweaty and it was a hot night. Again, not something I would expect from someone who was ranting the way the victim said he was just 30 minutes prior. Clue #2. My partner spoke with his girlfriend and she said he had been with her the whole day and they had not even been at the park. My partner believed the girlfriend. Shit.

Now, I am not saying that there is no way that my victim was not assaulted, but I seriously doubt it. Not only did we not have a righteous felony, now we had to write a report about it.

The second call of the night came in hours later. At this point I had given up on the night as a whole and I was pretty sure nothing fun would happen all night. The city was dead. Dispatched informed me that county fire was responding to a 911 call and needed assistance with large Samoan males who were possibly resisting and had been a problem in the past. Sweet!

We arrive on scene with two other units. That is four officers in total. County fire is not even there. So I inform dispatch that county fire is not there with kind of a "what the hell is going on" tone. Dispatch informed me that County Fire was going to wait around the corner until we told them it was ok to come in.

As I am doing that, the door to the residence pops open and I pull my weapon out. The area I was working is not a good one. Out walks a small asian man who I am guessing is 100 pounds soaking wet and about 60 years old. So here I am expecting this big fight and it ends up being a medical aid with completely cooperative subjects. Haha...where are the huge Samoan males? Where the hell did that information come from?

I was already completely aware of the fact that calls come out that sound like nothing and turn out to be huge clusters, but this night was all about the opposite. It wasn't what I was hoping to happen, but it was educational. Never assume anything!

Bat-Belt

I have been working as an officer for about 4 months now and I think I may finally have my duty belt figured out. Why did it take so long?

In the academy, you do not have a choice how your duty belt is setup. You have your weapon, cuffs, silent key holder (with one handcuff key and whistle), baton/baton ring and your magazine pouch, in that order. You also have your pens in you pocket and a notepad in your back pocket. You have to have it exactly this way and you don't have all that much to worry about. Your weapon is not loaded and there are no rounds in your magazines. Nice.

Now that I am on the streets things change. I now have just on my belt silent key holder (with way more keys), weapon with weaponlight (16 rounds), pepper spray, two handcuff cases, full size flashlight ring, radio holster, collapsible baton holster, drop down taser holster (with small flashlight, two taser carts and latex gloves attached) and finally my magazine pouch (another 24 rounds). I also have on my person, my cell phone, field interview cards, pocket reference book, liquid paper tape (a must have!), two pens, a couple of pocket knives, black gloves, backup weapon (10 rounds) and my vest. I really need to weigh myself before and after sometime to see how much shit I am carrying around. Oh yah, and I usually jam my large notepad in the rear when I am on a call. That small notepad is next to useless. I only use it when I don't have the larger one.

That is a lot of stuff to put on your person!! So I have been tweaking the location of all of this crap since day one. At one point I had my collapsible baton closer to my mag pouch and I found out that certain times I would get in my car and the damn thing would jab into my gut. So now it is directly on my off weapon side. If it wasn't for the drop-down taser holster, I would still have some issues with space.
I also changed the orientation of my magazine pouch so that it is horizontal. After a 12 hour shift of that thing jamming into my bladder and I felt like I had to piss constantly. So now I have to re-train myself to pull out my mags horizontally...small price to pay, in my opinion.


Now I have seen officers who have room for all of this stuff and more, but they are overweight to say the least. I have no idea how those tiny female officers do it. I am going to have to take a closer look at their duty belts sometime. I am guessing they have to lose something or be even more creative than me.

It almost makes me miss the simple setup of the academy...but not enough to do that over again. =)

You can't give me a ticket on the freeway!

This is more of a rant than a post, but it is my blog dammit!

I was in the hospital and a lady walks up to me and says, "Excuse me, sir." I pull my best Officer Friendly voice out and say something like, "Yes, ma'am. How may I be of assistance?" Imagine Superman standing in the wind with his cape flapping behind him and his head held up high. I am sure it was something like that. So she asks, "Is it true that you cannot give me a ticket if I am on the freeway? Since you would be in the jurisdiction of the Highway Patrol."

So I say, "That is true! In fact, if you run from me and cross the border of my city, I have to slam on the brakes before I hit another cities jurisdiction and explode!" Ok, I did not say that, but wouldn't that be awesome?

Ok, so here is the skinny. California Highway Patrol, County Deputy Sheriffs, local city police, college police and some other coppers that I can't think of are all police officers in the state of California. That means they can pull you over anywhere in the state of California.

If you happen to blow by me on the freeway breaking the sound barrier, I may pull you over. Now, I don't like making stops on the freeway, so I will get on my nifty PA system and tell you to exit. You would need to be going pretty damned fast for me to light you up on the freeway or doing something monumentally stupid. I like to stay in my area when I do traffic stops, just in case I am needed by one of my area partners or vice versa and the freeway is freakin' dangerous.

Shotgun!

My partner and I were just leaving the scene of a welfare check and I hear this voice from inside the car go, "ALERT!" It startled me a bit as I had never heard the car talk to me before. So I asked, "What is it, car 2948?" It turns out the voice was coming from our little Lo-Jack box to my left. I knew that the box was there, I had just never heard it go off before.

So I call it in, "Flytrap, I'm at walk and don't walk and I am getting a Lo-Jack signal with 6 bars on ABC123." Dispatch responds and tells me that particular number is tied to a silver mercedes license plate number 1ABC234.

We and like 5 other units, spend the next 15-20 minutes driving very slowly around our area trying to find this damn car. We went from 4 bars to 20 bars. Now for those of you who don't know, and I did not know until this incident, that 20 bars means you are right on top of the stolen vehicle.

After about 20 minutes my partner notices his kids in the car next to ours. So we slow down and wave to them. At this point the whole Lo-Jack thing seems like a wild goose chase that is going to amount to nothing.

I hear over the radio, "Houston, confirm the plate is 1ABC234 on a silver Mercedes?" Dispatch comes back, "Houston, that is affirmative." Houston responds, "Houston, I have the vehicle at the freeway on ramp at walk and don't walk, felony stop." Oh shit!

I know that Houston is a one man unmarked car. So we flip on the lights and sirens and start booking hard to the felony stop. It was approximately 6pm, so traffic was moderate and people just will not get out of our way. I am picturing in my head Houston having this car full of felony dirtbags at gunpoint by himself, so we were going just slow enough not to break the sound barrier.

We are just about to round the corner to the felony stop and I call out, "Flytrap, on scene." I want Houston to know I am there and that I am going to be coming up along side him.

As we drive up, I realize that we are the first unit on scene, so I whip out the shotgun and point it at the driver's head, who is craning his neck around to get a good view of me racking the shotgun directly at his noggin'. Now this I will never forget, as I rack the shotgun, the driver's eyes just about pop out of his head. If he had any inclination of resisting, it was now gone.

After all the units arrive and we are ready to clear the car, we have the driver step back, search him quickly and plop him in the back of a unit. I still have the shotgun pointed at the vehicle. There is a K-9 at the scene, so after we announce that we are going to send the dog, the handler lets him loose and the dog leaps into the car. I almost laughed after I see this dog wagging it's tail leaping into this felony stop car.

We call out to dispatch, "No more units needed, Code 4." We ask the suspect some questions and to my suprise he lays it all out for us. "Yeah, so I was walking by this car and saw the keys on the dashboard...so I took it. Oh and I was going to use the screwdriver to take off the license plates later. I saw you guys driving around like twice, what took you so long to catch me?"

That was pretty much it. I was riding that high for the rest of the night. I still remember after I racked the shotgun, I couldn't feel the safety. So I looked down to make sure my finger was in the right place. It was. I will chock that up to weird things that happen to you on a quick shot of adrenaline. I was able to keep myself calm with some tactical breathing exercises. I still couldn't tell you which way we drove when we left the scene. I was in kind of a daze. They say the most dangerous time for an officer is right after something like that. Your body does weird things to recover from all that excitement.

I made it through my first major incident with no mistakes and no injuries. That is a success in my book.

DUI Patrol Shift

I had my first patrol shift the other night. It was an 8 hour shift and our mandate for the night was to arrest DUI drivers.

My partner asked me what I was comfortable with doing and I told her I wanted to do as much as she was comfortable with me doing. I really wanted to jump in and learn as much as possible. So I ended up running the radio and doing 90% of the paperwork.

I did not really have a problem with the radio and the area we were patrolling I grew up in, so I pretty much knew where I was the whole night. The paperwork was about what I expected, there was quite a bit to remember and there are so many unwritten rules that I am going to have to create cheat sheets to keep it all straight in the future.

So here is what I took from my experience the other night. I don't know shit. People have told me that your academy training is necessary, but your training does not really begin until you are out on the street. This became very clear to me as I was struggling to keep up with my partner during the night. She kept a fast and furious pace that kept my head spinning.

Now, I have been on many ride-a-longs as a civilian where some pretty crazy shit happened, but with the uniform on I have responsibilities and I was at high alert for over eight hours. To say that I was exhausted after eight hours of patrol would be an understatement.

In the academy they teach you how to properly exit a vehicle and do everything you need to do to keep you and your partner safe. It goes something like this for the passenger seat. Take off your seatbelt, turn on the spotlight and point it at one of the mirrors of the vehicle in front of you...etc. Now twice I went to get out of the vehicle and was jerked back because I still had my seatbelt on. I don't think my partner noticed, but I felt like a moron both times. I quickly realized that when you are sitting in a seat with a vest on you can't feel the seatbelt. So you don't realize you still have your seatbelt on. It is the little things.

We nabbed two drunk drivers, wrote 4 citations, did 6 traffic stops and one pedestrian stop. It was a full night when you consider that each DUI arrest lasted 3+ hours to write all the paper, tow the cars and conduct the investigation.

The good news is that I learned quite a bit and did not make any big mistakes. I pretty much just followed my partners lead and stayed hyper aware.

This weekend I have my first patrol shift where I will be working an area and responding to calls of service, domestic violence, loud music, fights...etc. So any comfort level I procured doing traffic stops will not apply. To say that I am looking forward to it would be the understatement of the year. It will be a long week.

Don't reach for an officer's weapon.

Ok, so I am at a concert last week and some drunken moron walks up to me and starts talking to me about how his cousin's brother's former roommate is a cop and at some point of the conversation he decides it is a good idea to touch my expandable baton. I am not sure why he did this, but let me enlighten you on my thought process and very discreet actions. He never noticed being alcohol soaked.

Step 1:
Man reaches forward towards my baton...my hand goes on my 40 caliber sidearm and I think, "Is he really reaching towards my baton?"

Step 2:
Man touches baton...my thumb on my weapon hand opens up my holster and unlatches it as my left hand holds on to my baton and I think, "Ok, don't panic, he is just drunk and a jackass."

At this point I am also thinking about step 3 where he closes his hand on my baton and starts to pull. My weapon would have come out of my holster and he would have been pistol pointed.

I don't know this guy from Adam. So I don't know what his intentions are and I still don't. I was too shocked that he even did that to ask him what the hell he was thinking. I am just telling you what was going on in my head when he did that.

What have we learned from this folks? Don't touch an officer's weapons...ever! I am not sure if it would be more or less dangerous if the officer in question wasn't a rookie and a bit jumpy from all the horror stories he had just heard in the academy. If you do, chances are I am thinking of ways I may have to kill you if you somehow are able to get out my baton and start swinging.

In general, while I am on duty and in uniform I do not like to be touched by people I don't know. If I am working and you walk up behind me and grab me by the shoulder to get my attention, don't be suprised if I do not look happy to see you. You probably just sent a little adrenalin shot through me and took a year off my life.

Rookies are jumpy. =)

Newbie

So I have been working now as a sworn peace officer for a few weeks now and I am just starting to feel like a police officer. The first couple of shifts I had I kind of felt like an imposter or just someone along for the ride. It has nothing to do with the people I work with or my training officer, it is just how I felt being in uniform.

Most of my shifts so far have been special events and airport duty with a patrol shift thrown in there. I think the airport has been my best learning experience so far as the training only lasted 2 days and then I was let loose to wreak havoc. There is really to that much to do at the airport and it is not very complicated.

So my first shift where I really dealt with the public was a concert. Myself and a more experienced officer walked around the concert for 8 hours responding to calls of service (if we could hear the radio) and monitored the alcoholics.

Being that this was my first experience walking around a public area with my uniform and bat belt, it turned out to be a very surreal day. I don't think my hands ever left the vicinity on my weapon for fear of some drunken a-hole grabbing my weapon. In the academy the TAC staff or drill instructors are constantly trying to take your weapons off of your duty belt and if they succeed you pay dearly. So the thought kept popping into my head all day even though logically I knew that it would not happen.

The other thing I am just getting used to is people coming up to me and asking me questions like I have all the answers. Now, at the airport after only working 3 shifts there I pretty much know where everything is, but at the concert I had no friggin' clue where anything was. The good news was that my partner had no more of a clue than I did.

I haven't really done anything super exciting yet, but that is probably a good thing while I am just getting used to being in uniform. I have yelled at a few people and threatened citations, which I cannot write until I get the training, but they don't know that.

I do have to say that everyone I have met at the department has been really cool and patient with my stupid questions. I learn quick, so I am sure that helps.

I will post more as more exciting things happen. I am sure it is just a matter of time as I have some patrol shifts coming up.

Sworn In

I was sworn in last week and I had my first shift on Friday. I am buried in training and paperwork, so I am not going to write anything lengthy at the moment. I will post a full report of my first shift when I have a free moment.

OMGWTFBBQ POLYGRAPH!

I read the law enforcement message boards periodically and one of the common questions I see is about the ever dreaded polygraph. There seems to be quite a bit of fear surrounding this magical device. Now, I am no expert on the polygraph, but I have been through it three times now and have passed each one.

In my opinion, there are two types of people that are concerned about the polygraph. The first type is the person who has something to hide and wants to know how to beat it. This type is boned and shouldn't be in law enforcement to begin with. I will be addressing this post to the second type, the normal applicant who has nothing to hide, but is concerned that the polygraph will call them out as a liar even though they are telling the truth. The first time I did a polygraph, I couldn't help but think the same thing.

The first step in the polygraph is a huge questionnaire. There are questions regarding your drug past, criminal past, gang affiliations and much more. If I recall, this took me about 20-30 minutes to fill this sucker out.

As you are filling out this monster quiz, the most important thing is to detail everyting ad nauseum. They will tell you to write next to questions you answered yes to and detail the events. I also like to write down the questions numbers which were unclear, so I can ask the investigator about it afterwards. Let me give you an example from my list. The question was something like, "Have you ever stolen anything?" I put down that I stole $10 from my mother when I was younger, I also stole candy once from 7-11 when I was really young.

Now, you might be thinking, do they really care that you stole something when you were 8 years old? Don't they just want to know about your adult life? Put down EVERTHING. If you think of anything, put it down on that paper. This is very important. You will see why later.

Ok, now you have completed this questionnaire. You may have even revealed some embarassing facts about your person sex life. Have you ever had sex in a public pool? I have, and I had to put it on my polygraph questionnaire. Yeesh. That is a difficult thing to explain to a complete stranger, but they know you are human and expect that you have done some stupid things in your youth.

At this point the polygraph investigator, who is more than likely an ex-police detective, is going to read through your list and ask you specific questions about each incident, just to make sure he has everything straight. This is your opportunity to ask about any of the questions that were unclear to you. Make sure you do this and get everything off your chest.

Now he is going to hook you up to the polygraph computer. Each one is different, but usually there is a thing that goes on your finger, a strap that goes around your chest, a blood pressure monitor on your arm and a pressure sensitive seat...so hold in that fart, because he will know if you don't. You think I am kidding, try it. =)

He is going to ask you about 10 questions while actually hooked up to the polygraph torture device and he will ask the series twice. I forget exactly how it was worded, but it was something like, "Did you lie about anything in your drug past?" You will answer, no. The answer to all the questions is no.

Here is the key to the polygraph. After he asks you each question, he will wait approximately 30 seconds before he asks you another one. You have to remain completely still and stare at the wall. You can not sniff, fart, move or jostle. If you do, he has to start over. This gives you time to think about your answer. If you suddenly remember that you did have sexual relations with a sheep in college, you may show some kind of reaction to the polygraph. That is why it is so important for you to feel like you have told EVERYTHING to the investigator. So you can relax and just answer no to each question. You know you have told the truth ad nauseum and therefore so does the polygraph.

That is it folks. It is a very easy process. After I got my first one done I was amused at how worked up I got about it. It really is no big deal. If you are lying or hiding something, then you will fail. Reveal everything about the subjects they ask you, no matter how stupid, and you will pass. The department may then disqualify you for that sheep thing, but you will have passed the polygraph.

What do I need to do to prepare for the academy?

I have recently graduated from the police academy and a question I get quite a bit is, "What do I need to do to prepare for the academy?" Since I have no actual street experience, apart from the ride a longs I have been on, this is one of the few areas I can speak with some experience.

Now, all academies are different, but that being said, the academy I attended is one of the hardest out there...or so I have been told. I do not doubt that. So if you prepare with the following in mind, you will either be over prepared or just prepared enough.

I would say first and foremost you need to be in good physical shape. I do not know that all academies are as physically demanding as the one I attended, but better to be over prepared than struggling. You have enough to worry about during the academy without having to worry about being separated because you can't hack the PT. Give yourself at LEAST six months of preparation beforehand. Find out what style of PT your academy is focused on. My academy was very much into Crossfit type exercises and some running. There are other academies that are very heavy on the running.

I got a call from a friend of mine a few weeks back that was starting the academy and he asked me, "What learning domains should I study to get prepared for the academy?" Ignore the learning domains until you are in the academy. You will learn everything you need to know about the learning domains in the classroom and you will learn them correctly. For my academy I had to know The Law Enforcement Code of Ethics , Weapons and Handcuff Speeches, radio codes (200+ codes), exercise and stretching speeches, academy chain of command and the department chain of command all on day one. Believe me when I tell you, this is a hell of a lot of stuff to memorize. So just concentrate on that or whatever your Recruit Orientation Manual tells you to memorize.

Read the recruit orientation manual over and over again. Know it well. At one point the Tactical Sergeant asked one of the guys how many remedial instruction reports he could give us in one day. He answered, "Sir, as far as I know, as many as you want to, sir!" Funny, but incorrect. We did some cycles of discipline for that one.

Practice the academy protocols. You are going to look like a nutjob doing it, but it helps. If you can, get together with your classmates and practice this stuff ahead of time. Also get in touch with someone from a previous class and have them act the part of the Tac Staff and practice your marching, formations, etc.

Your goal is to know this stuff backwards and forwards and perform under high stress. The first time the Tac gets in your face, you will forget your own name. It happened to me, it happens to everyone. Just take a second, compose yourself and move on.

The first time I had to report to the Tac office I had to say two lines and the second one I couldn't get right to save my life. "Sir, Recruit FlyTrap request permission to pick up the academy clipboard and Class x's remedial instruction report folders, sir!" Now, I knew ahead of time exactly what I had to say and I practiced it over and over again in the classroom, but damned if I could do it in the office after the Tac staff rattled me a bit. The only advice I can offer is just stare straight forward and turn your brain off.

You will get used to the stress after a week or so and getting yelled at won't be a big deal. If you know your shit, the Tac staff will generally leave you alone. It is no fun for them if you know your memorization work. I guarantee you that after they yell at you for a bit and go back into their office, they laugh their asses off. Cops have a great sense of humor and some of the stuff that the Tac staff says is hilarious. DO NOT LAUGH! =)

Some of the worst moments are the funniest. I always used to think of that fact while I was getting hammered. That was the best part of the academy, after something horrible had just happened to you, going back to your fellow recruits and laughing your asses off about it.

The first week will suck eggs and every day it gets easier and easier. Do not quit, no matter what they tell you. They will tell you that you are the worst class they have ever had, that you should not be there and that you should quit now as you will never make it to the end. DO NOT QUIT.

While you are in the police academy, act accordingly even outside of the academy grounds. Do not go out drinking on Saturday night and get in to a bar fight. Drive according to the law. Do not pick up prostitutes while you are in the academy. That last one actually happened to one of my fellow recruits. Do not ever EVER lie to the Tac staff. They will find out and your career will be over. The academy is a grueling 5-6 month process. Don't waste all your hard work by doing something stupid.

Oh, and one more thing. For those of you that think I am exaggerating or think that you will worry about all this nonsense once you get into the academy, stand by. You will not be well liked by the staff and your fellow recruits, but that is ok. You won't be around for long, anyway.

My file has moved!

It has been a while since I have posted. I was hoping my next post would be that I was being sworn in, but alas I am still waiting.

I received a call from my background investigator about a month ago that my file had moved from the Sergeant's desk to the Lieutenant's desk. I am assuming now that the Lieutenant has caught his fingers in a chinese finger trap and has been working diligently this last month to remedy that dilemna. I like that scenario better than the probable truth, which is that my file is a low priority and they will get to it when they have time.

So for now, here is a picture that made me laugh today.

Patience and hiring

During the hiring process I have learned one thing.  Patience is a virtue.  Apparently, I am not very virtuous because the waiting is driving me batshit.

I have been applying with various departments since October of 2008.  My first few oral interviews I did not do that well with.  It had been a good 10 years since I had done any kind of interview and I was a bit rusty to say the least.  So the first two departments I applied to, I did not pass the oral interviews.

I started the police academy in January of 2009 and I knew that I would not really be able to focus on the hiring process while in the academy.  So I made the conscious decision to wait until July to apply anywhere else.

So I applied at a local department in July of 2009.  I actually applied with them months before, but they lost my application.

About a month later I had my oral interview which went very well.  They asked me some scenario questions and the basic, "Why do you want to be a police officer?"  They also asked me a few of the basics that everyone should know coming out of a police academy.  Sponsoring myself through the academy helped me quite a bit with the oral interview.  I did not have to think too much when it came to the scenario questions.  I knew what I was supposed to do.

A month or so later I finally called the Sergeant and he informed me that I had passed the oral interview and I should have received a letter in the mail.  I did not, but I was very happy to hear that I had passed.

In November, I had my background interview.  He gave me the paperwork and all the required nonsense he needed from me.  If you are planning on applying to an agency, see if you can get their background form ahead of time as it will take you a while to compile all this information.  I already had everything ready, as I had been through the same thing for the academy.

A few days later I had my polygraph.  People get really freaked out about the polygraph, but there really is no reason to unless you just snorted blow off a hooker before you came in to take it.  Let me explain.  You fill out this big old questionnaire beforehand that asks you questions about your drug past, gang past etc.  The interviewer then goes through everything you put on your form to make sure that he is clear on it.  This is your chance to say anything and EVERYTHING.  If you have ANY concerns about any of the questions, just ask.  The point of this part is to make sure that there is nothing nagging you in the back of your mind about any of the questions.  He then hooks you up to the poly and asks you 10 questions twice.  Something like, "Did you lie about anything in your drug background?"  The answer to every question is no.  Pretty simple and not worth getting stressed about if you have nothing to hide.  So, don't hide anything!

I went on a few ride a longs after the poly and had a good time.  I really liked the people that worked at the department and it made me want to work there more than ever.

At the beginning of February, the background investigator came out to interview my wife and do a neighborhood check.  He just knocks on your neighbors doors and asks them about you.  If you aren't a complete jack-hole to your neighbors, you should be fine.  This marked the end, or close to the end of the background.  He had already sent out and gotten back all the letters he sent to employers, references, family and the like.

Up until this point I have been pretty patient and it really has not bothered me that much, but the closer I get to the end, the worse it gets.  As far as I know, my paperwork is sitting on a supervisor's desk just waiting to be approved.  It has been on this same desk for over a month.  Their original estimate for completion of my hiring process was January.  So don't believe any estimates, it will be done when it is done.

So I am understandably impatient now.  I am just doing my best to keep busy and not think too much about it.  I have been told to give it one more month.  Not that I have a choice in the matter.  It has been almost 9 months in the hiring process.  Logically I know it could be worse and I am lucky that I am even this far.  Many people are applying right now and the competition is tough. 

None of this will matter once I get the badge pinned on.

Rainy night ride a long

I went on a ride along last night with a local PD that I am in backgrounds with. It was raining pretty much all night.

I got there at 1800 hours and the Sgt. brought me in to sit in briefing. I have been in a few different briefings with a few different departments. I really liked the overall feel of the people and supervisors working for the department. I really hope that I am able to make it through the process and work for them.

The first hour of the night was spent writing a narcotics sale report. I pretty much just sat there while the officer wrote out his narrative. The sergeant stuck his head in at one point, smiled at me and said, "Welcome to policework!"

After we finished his paperwork we got out on the streets. There really wasn't much happening as everyone was inside staying out of the rain.

We stopped a bicycle for an infraction at about 2200 hours. We had dispatch run him for warrants. It came back that he was on parole and he was wanted for some kind of misdemeanor parole violation. We arrested him, took him back to the station and then transported him to the county jail. That part was pretty interesting as I had never been in the intake center of the county jail before. I looked around for anyone I knew from the aademy, but I didn't recognize anyone. The Sheriff's Department is a huge agency.

A little side story, the officer I was with went to thank another officer for letting him into this gate we were going through. So he walks up to him and says, "Thanks dude!" As the "officer" turns around he notices the double bars on his shirt and says, "Uhhh...captain." The captain just laughed. The officer turned to me and mouths, "Oops!"

At about midnight we did a patrol check of a neighborhood known for its drug activity. As we rounded the corner a guy in dark clothing took off from us. By the time we pulled around the corner he was nowhere in sight and a few people were just standing there staring at us. He told me that unless you went out on foot, you have no chance of catching those guys.

Later, we did a bar check on a local pub. As we were leaving one of the bouncers walked up to us and told us there was a girl driving away who had been drinking. So the other unit we were with pulled her over for a traffic violation and proceeded to do a field sobriety test. The officer who was conducting the FST was a rookie and I felt really bad for him as the girl was really beligerent and was having none of it. She refused the FST and he was forced to arrest her after he gave kind of a panicked look to his training officer. She was yelling at him the whole time. "You know this is wrong. How do you sleep knowing what you do to people?" Finally the experienced officer stepped in and told her that she was the one who chose to drive drunk and that she should just keep her mouth shut. I can imagine it is hard being a rookie. You want to be nice to people and be professional like you are trained to do and you are not sure quite yet how to handle people like this. I am not as young as he is, so maybe I will have an easier time, maybe not. We will see.

That was it. I am guessing this will be my last ride along before I actually get hired. The background investigator told me he was hoping to get me hired in January. I am crossing my fingers.

Fond memories: OC Spray

I was organizing some of my pictures today and I came across the pictures that were taken of me during our OC or pepper spray training. These pictures make me laugh every time I look at them.

So first let me set up the first picture. We were standing in a two by two line in what I can only describe as the closest I will ever come to being a lemming. I saw that people were getting hit in the face with some kind of liquid, they all had similar reactions of extreme pain and yet I continued to move forward. Had I known what I know now, I would have been much more nervous. As first I was bound and determined to take it like a man. Go ahead and give me your worst you sons of bitches!

Now, the first blast of liquid hit me in the eyes and all I felt was pressure. So I opened my eyes wide and blinked. It was kind of a reflex reaction. So both my eyeballs were coated with this liquid. This was one of those slow motion moments of my life and I remember it vividly. It seemed like it wasn't going to be that bad. About one second later I felt it. I can only describe it as sanding your eyeballs with 100 grit sandpaper and then squirting lemon juice over the abrasions. Here is the picture of my first reaction...
 

Hey!  Don't laugh you bitches!  Haha, no it is ok, it makes me laugh too. The instuctors told us very specifically NOT to touch your face with your hand, but I lost complete control over my hand and I came very close to doing just that. I pulled my hand away at the last second, thankfully. I will tell you why this is good later.

The deputy that sprayed me got me for about 5 seconds of steady stream. We are friends now, but at that moment I was not his biggest fan.

The instructors told us to try and blink to slowly clear your eyes of the OC. So being the good recruit I attempted to open my eyes and blink every 30 seconds or so. Each time I even cracked my eyes open a little of that vile liquid seeped into my eyeballs and the pain started all over again. They handed us paper towels to blot the spray out of our eyes, but that didn't help much. I used my hand and my pants to wipe off the copious amounts of snot streaming out of my nose. I just didn't care about cleanliness at this point. This went on for about 20 minutes. That was a very long 20 minutes.

So after 20 minutes I was finally able to pry my eyes open and look around. It was maybe a little before this that I realized it felt like I had the worst sunburn of my life on my face and head. It was not really a hot day out, but we were all cowering from the sun like a bunch of weeping, snotting vampires. I would have killed for some rain. They told us there was a breeze out and that we should face the breeze, but damned if I felt it. Everywhere the spray touched burned, this is why I am glad I did not contaminate my hand. I actually wiped the sweat off my brow with my wrist at one point and when I went to put on my watch later, it hurt.

So the sunburn thing lasted for about another hour. After I got home I knew I needed to get decontaminated. The pain had pretty much subsided, but I needed to get it off of me and doing so would not be pleasant. So I took a shower, making sure that the water did not run down my body into more sensitive areas. I scrubbed and scrubbed everywhere doing my best to get it all off. Of course, once I got out of the water, I felt the sunburn feeling kick in. So I stood in front of my industrial sized fan in the garage for about 30 minutes until it subsided.

The moral of the story is this kids. Do not resist the police. You do NOT want to get sprayed! Really, I am not kidding! I would rather get kicked in the nuts than go through this again.