OCD Pens!

You wouldn't think so much time and effort would go into choosing a writing implement.  I am here to tell you otherwise.  I have been through at least five different types of pens in an attempt to come up with the PENultimate patrol pen.  See what I did there?

My favorite so far is the Pilot G-2 Retractable Gel Ink Rollerball Pen, 0.7 mm, Fine Point, Clear Barrel, Black Ink.  BOOM!

http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/794047/Pilot-G-2-Retractable-Gel-Ink/?cm_mmc=Mercent-_-Google-_-Pens_Pencils_and_Markers-_-794047-%7Bcopy:IQ_PE%7D&mr:trackingCode=48066F1B-EC81-DE11-B7F3-0019B9C043EB&mr:referralID=NA

You need a pen that is sturdy enough so you can "press hard, three copies", cheap enough that you do not mind losing it or voluntarily giving it up after someone soils it, and writes pretty consistently.

Now, when you get out of the academy, you wear your shiny expensive pens in your shirt pocket.  You want to look BAD-ASS and dialed in.  That will last about as long as you polishing your boots every day. 

I have one pen in my shirt pocket and one of those pen shaped handcuff keys.  I keep an extra pen stuffed by my taser in case the other one goes out.  Your pen is one of the most important things you can have.  If you don't have a working pen and a notepad, you are pretty much useless.

Quick little academy/real life tidbit.  During training in the academy, they told me I could use my pen to double lock handcuffs.  How convenient!  Yeah, you do that a few times and your pen will start leaking ink.  Pen ruined.  Don't do that.  I don't remember who told me that, but I question their expertise.  I figured out that was a bad idea after I went through about 3 pens in one week.

I think I started obsessing about pens during training.  I had to write EVERYTHING down at an extremely fast pace.  If I had to stop to shake the ink in the pen, I missed something.  What did the dispatcher say about the guy with the gun?  Oh never mind, I am sure it was not important.

Am I a weirdo obsessing about pens? For those patrol folks out there, do you have a favorite pen?

I promised myself I wouldn't cry!

I had probably the scariest/best call I have ever been on the other night.  I am going to have to be careful what I say about it as the suspect is going away for a long time and I don't want anything I say here to jeopardize that.  He deserves to go bye bye.

Really, REALLY short version.  Guy with a gun tackled, subdued and arrested.

But, that is not the purpose of this post anyway.  The call was awesome.  Huge adrenaline dump.  We were all done and exhausted after it.  There were only minor injuries to us.  Let me give you some background...

I have been working in my current city for about a year now.  I have earned the trust and respect of 99% of my fellow officers.  They like me and I like them.  However, there is this one crusty veteran that treats me like old white dog shit on the bottom of his shoe.

I would show up to his calls when he asked for backup and he would say something like, "Where is Officer Betterthanyou?"  As if to say, I did not want you, noobtard.  So I stopped showing up at his calls unless he called for me.  Which he never did.  I can take a hint.

We had this stabbing at one of our ghettoish areas.  I show up and he says, "322!  Come stand here and guard this knife."  Does he even know my name?  I don't know.  How about a please/thank you.  I stood on that knife for five hours.  Ugh.

I would take his prisoners to the jail for him when I could.  So that he could stay out and catch more bad guys in his undercover car.  Not so much as a thank you.  In fact, he bullied me in to taking three loser prostitutes one night.  That was the most annoying, longest car ride ever, and I did NOT want to do it.  I am still new, so I took it in the pooper and taxied those three lovely young ladies to the clink.

So, we have this man with a gun call the other night.  I was in the middle of the scrap with three other guys, including Crusty Veteran.  After the craziness is over, this happens:

Crusty Veteran: Hey FlyTrap, do you have latex gloves?

Me: Yes, sir.

Crusty Veteran: Grab the pistol and clear it for me, please.

Holy fucking dogshit, Batman?  Was I recording that?  No I wasn't, shit!  First off, he called me by my first name...and please!.  Also, he asked me to clear the 9mm pistol this dirtbag had tried to kill us with.  That is a huge.  I doubt I would have trusted anyone but myself to clear a loaded weapon and my primary piece of evidence.

At this point, I would have shined his boots, kissed his ass and sucked his....well, maybe not.  It was a big moment for me.  The guy is a genius.  Treats me like shit for months and hands out one compliment.  Now I am ready to give him my first born.

I think it is mostly because I have worked hard to build a positive reputation for myself and he was the one guy I could not get a beat on.  I was convinced if I called out for help, he would run me over on the way, and take my arrest.  LOL.

I may be back to "Hey you!" next week, but for now, call me Captain HAS A NAME!!

SIDENOTE:  Best picture ever!